One Day At A Time.

Hey all. I know it has been a while so I have decided to write. In fact, I have quite a few things to discuss and most of them are life changing...

As most of you know, I left my husband Chris about a month ago. We have been married for 7 1/2 years so this was the hardest thing I have ever done. Since this is mostly none of your business as to why we split, I will just tell you how I am doing. Since I have always been a very independent person, most days are not bad for me. It is easy for me to just be responsible for me and do what I need to do. I do occasionally have a bad day and on those days I miss him so much it is hard to breathe. We aren't officially divorcing yet as we see how the next few months play out. He is still my very best friend and we still talk regularly.

I am currently staying with my sister and her husband and they have been wonderful to me. I will never forget how they have stepped up to help me through this trying time. I try to pull my weight around the house so I don't wear out my welcome and I am loving the time I share with my sister. I feel us growing closer every day.

As far as jobs go, I got my first job 2 weeks ago at Bannock House. This is a halfway house/shelter/foster home for teenagers. I am finding that I like this job very much and it is very fulfilling. While it tries my patience sometimes, I find that the kids are opening up to me and benefitting from living here. Just tonight I stopped a resident from running away and/or killing herself. I am very proud of myself for that. I wasn't sure I would know how to handle that kind of situation if it came up, and it seems I am a natural :). I was going to work for another program through Bannock Youth Foundation called "Baby Steps" which is for pregnant women and women with children under 18 months. You help them to be better mothers. I was going to take this job but decided that I wouldn't have enough empathy and sincerity to tell a woman nicely to stop smoking or drinking while pregnant among other things. I just couldn't see myself being calm and collected around women harming themselves and their children. So....I interviewed at a few other places and decided to accept a position at J.C. Penney's in the Misses Dept. I am already loving it as well (along with my 20% discount).

As far as health goes, I have a cold, but that is far less than I expected working around kids and being back in Idaho.

Speaking of being back in Idaho...you are probably wondering how that feels for me since I tried so hard and so many times to leave here. Honestly it took swallowing my pride to move back here but I really love having my support system (although there are some family members I could care less to have back in my life) the sense of community, and everything I need is within a 15 min drive. I miss my husband, my pets, most of my inlaws, my house, my friends, and the entertainment opportunities I had in Virginia, but I am doing ok and keeping in touch the best I can. Also, since I have been back, I have heard about a Native American curse about leaving Pocatello. Supposedly if you don't take some Pocatello dirt with you when you leave, you will eventually come back. So when I leave again eventually, I will definitely remember to take some dirt with me, haha. On a serious note though, I will be highly upset the first time it snows, and probably through the whole winter.

I do have a 4 wheel drive vehicle now though, thanks to my awesome Aunt Fawn who is selling me her 2002 Ford Explorer, which I already love. Other than the gas milage, it is perfect for me!

One problem I have had since leaving Virginia is manipulative people. People who try to buy love or attention or who do whatever they can to get their way, even if it hurts others along the way. I have absolutely no tolerance for this, even if you are family. BECAUSE you are family, you should care even more about hurting me, but obviously you don't. So I want NOTHING from you and you don't get included in the good things that happen for me.

On a last and HAPPY note, football season has officially begun and I feel like this will be a good season. So far I have enjoyed watching games with my family and can't wait for tomorrow when the Steelers play the Ravens. I will be staying awake after my graveyard shift to watch this game and I will be at my grandparents house. Im soaking in all the time I can with them before they move to Arizona on the 1st of October.

So on that note, hope everyone is having a fantastic weekend! And GO STEELERS!!!!!!

Love, Allison

A little bit of everything...

Hey all! Happy Hump Day :)

I am sure you are all aware that Bin Laden was killed and I know we are glad he isn't a threat anymore. If you believe in hell, he will get what is coming for him. I imagine it is like in the movie Little Nicki when Hitler wears a French maid outfit and gets pineapples shoved in his ass every day lol. Anyway, this kind of has to do with something I want to talk about anyway...

Steriotypes. We all like to think that we don't have them, but we do. They are called schemas. Our brain automatically uses them to fill in the blanks whenever we don't know a lot about something or someone. I have them, I wont lie, and you shouldn't lie either. What I am most concerned about is automatically judging people based on their religion and political affiliation. Just because someone isn't the same as you, doesn't mean they are bad. Recently I have recieved emails and such talking trash on the Muslim religion. I am not Muslim and I don't necessarily agree with it, but I go to school with Muslim people and have Muslim friends, so it can be offensive. They aren't all terrorists. I can't believe I even have to say that!!! We are all guilty of steriotypes, but we can all try to overcome them by getting to know someone on an individual basis before making assumptions....

Next, I want to discuss my current goals. I am willing to listen to any feedback if this sounds ridiculous or even if it sounds like a good plan... I want to lose 50 lbs, and before you say that is too much, know that even though I don't look it, I weigh 200. (Yes I just admitted my weight for all of you to see, I know, I am nuts! Ha ha) So this is really a realistic goal. BUT, because I know that muscle weighs more than fat, I would also be happy with dropping 4 pant sizes (technically its 2 in womens). I plan on working out 5 days a week at least. 3 days cardio, 2 weights and light cardio. I also plan on counting calories and trying to eat healthy. Since my target weight is 150 I will be taking in no more than 1500 calories a day. If I can, I will supplement protein shakes for meals and have healthy snacks. But we will see about that last part....I do love food :)

Anyway, if you have suggestions I am all for it!

This blog was short and sweet, just wanted to make a point and explain my plan. Enjoy the rest of your week! Thanks, Allison

Venting....Rated PG-13 for L

So for those of you that have known me since I was little, you probably remember me losing my voice. For those that haven't seen me go through this, I always lose my voice in Idaho (where I am from) especially in the Winter. Sometimes for months at a time and sometimes causing me breathing problems. Well I am currently suffering from the voice/breathing problems. Yes, I know: I am in in Virginia and it is Spring. What the HELL???? So since I can't vent well with my voice and since I haven't written a blog in a while....here goes...

So smoking always has helped with my voice/breathing issues. I know that sounds fricken nuts, but it is true. BUT I haven't smoked in 20 months....so I really don't want to start again, and I am in need of a little moral support. It is VERY stressful not being able to breath normally and not be able to talk or sing. It effects so much in my life, with little to no relief....so it is bringing me down a lot. I am seeing a doc for treatment that isn't working and hoping this goes away on its own.

Since I am suffering from something I usually suffer when I visit home, naturally I am a little more home sick than normal. Especially this weekend.....My AMAZING, HARD-WORKING, LOVING DAD TURNS 50 TOMORROW!!!!!! And I can't be there :( Soooooo.....if you see him, wish him a Happy Birthday and give him shit for being OVER THE HILL. Love ya Dad!!!!

As most of you know, I deleted a lot of my friends from facebook. I really needed to do some housekeeping and I am glad I did. It felt great to get rid of the stupid bitches who cause drama or only take pictures of themselves in the "duck face" pose, or the family member who clearly drank during her pregnancy and caused her child to have Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, or people who I honestly don't care to talk to...because they are lousy at conversation and don't really matter to me. I want to surround myself with supportive, positive, family and friends. I already have way too much negativity in my life to hang on to people like that.

Additionally, I HATE this semester. Sometimes I want to give up because it is boring, tedious, and stressful. If I didn't have my friend Carrie suffering with me, and my husband supporting me....I might have called it quits. So thanks Carrie and Chris!!! Love you guys!!! On a positive note, I am registered for Fall and then Spring will be a breeze, then GRADUATION!!Yay!!!

So I am sure you have been reading my posts about Applebee's. This is what I learned: Make sure you know what a company's "quitting policy" is. If I had known that I was quitting immediately when I gave 3 weeks notice, then I would have quit 3 weeks later. ;) Also, not everyone qualified to be a General Manager is honest. Mine lied to my face. Just because someone is in charge, doesn't mean they should be.

Currently I am looking for a good Summer job....I am hoping to work with kids over the Summer and I have a few options, but I don't want to Jinx it, so I will let you know when it happens or when I decide.

Basically what I have to say today is THANK YOU to my family and friends. You are an amazing support system. Idaho people, I miss you, and Dad Happy Birthday. Oh and if anyone feels neglected by my lack of phone calling or skyping....its honestly because I can't talk. Promise. Anyway, thanks for reading! Have a fantastic weekend!!! Love, Allison

A bone to pick with facebook stauses...Rated PG13 for L

Before I begin this post, I just want to say that if it offends you and you want to know if it is about you, send a message to my facebook inbox and I will tell you. I don't say things about other people that I wouldn't say to their face if asked. Its an honesty policy I have for myself.

On that note, let me just say that I love facebook. I love reading about peoples lives and staying in touch with people that I otherwise wouldn't. People are inspirational, funny, and there when you need them. But...not every facebook status/post is one of those things. Some are annoying, hurtful, and vague.

I know I am guilty of sometimes posting vague statuses. But I ALWAYS answer questions to explain myself. It is SO annoying when people post a vague status and when people ask for an explanation they don't give it. Who do you think you are? You may think that you are intriguing people, but in reality you are frustrating them.

Not EVERY status you post is going to be as epic as you think it is. Some people only post things that they think are going to change the world and then get disappointed when no one comments.
I have respect for posts with shock value and humor that are life changing, but if no one gets it because its an inside joke (inside you only), it wont be what you want it to be. From my experience people like it more when you post something they can relate to anyway. It gives you that extra connection between friends...

Stop posting about things that are too much information. No one wants to know when you have cramps. No one wants to know about your vomit or bowel movements. Thats just fucking disgusting. Seriously.

The "woe is me" statuses are annoying too. Its one thing if you really need help from your friends. Its another when there is something wrong with you EVERY DAY. No one likes it when you complain all the time. Seriously find something to be happy about. If you can't, see a therapist. Stop bringing everyone else down too. That is selfish.

This last complaint needs to be explained thouroughly because I know it will hurt some peoples feelings. So here goes...If you know me, really know me, then you know the battle I have been fighting with fertility. So when you complain about your pregnancy it is like a HUGE slap in the face. I would give ANYTHING to go through what you are going through and would never dream of complaining about such a beautiful special experience. This complaint is mostly for the pregnant women who consider me a close friend and have seen what I have gone through. Those who don't know, I really have no expectations for. BUT just know that I am not too proud to admit that I am insanely jealous of anyone who can have kids and it breaks my heart when people complain or do things to their bodies that they shouldn't when they are pregnant. I know that women don't get pregnant to "spite" me and usually I can be genuinely happy for those who are. BUT if you complain about it is hard for me to stay happy for you. So please count yourself lucky and enjoy every minute of it, because I can't.

So there it is... if you wanna know if this is about you...just ask... hope you all have a fantastic week!

New Years Resolutions

Happy New Year!! For me it wasn't too happy because I am pretty sure I had Pneumonia. I have never been that sick and it was miserable. But....now I am better and I am starting my resolutions a few days late.

As always I am going to try and lose weight. The difference this year is that I have come to terms that my body will never be what society wants it to be so I am concentrating more on beng healthy and bettering my strength and balance.

Secondly I am going to save money. For now all of my tips are going in a jar labeled "baby fund." Its for in vitro or adoption. When the jar is full it will go into a savings acount, but for now it sits on my end table motivating me. I also explained to my coworkers why I am "so damn happy all the time." Really I am happy at work because I want better tips....for my jar...for my baby.

My last resolution is kind of general. I want to be a better person. There was this study done on suicidal teens and the ethics committee was concerned that if you asked teenagers if they thought about suicide that it would inplant the idea in their heads. In actuality it had the opposite effect. It saved some of them from killing themselves because they felt like someone cared about them by asking them those questions. You never know whose life you may save by asking how someone is doing or picking up the phone or smiling. I want to be the best person I can with the hopes of helping others.

Anyway, I hope everyone is having a fantastic 2011!!! I am so grateful to have such wonderful family and friends :)

So many lost....

The first few days of November are always hard for me. In 2003, just after I arrived in Germany, I read an email that changed my life. My good friend and ex-boyfriend, Tyson Bullock had been killed in an accident as a result of drinking and driving. Turns out, just a few days before that, my good friend Dave Mickelson had also died. He had falllen asleep at the wheel and survived the accident but died of a stroke at the hospital. I lost two young vibrant amazing friends in less than a week because of people driving irresponsibly.

There are 3 things I have learned from these accidents and I want to share them with you because you NEVER know when something might happen to someone you care about.

1. NEVER drive if you have been drinking and NEVER get in a car with someone else behind the wheel who has been drinking.

2. NEVER drive while drousy. Pull over and nap if you have to.

3. ALWAYS wear a seatbelt. It could possibly save your life.


A good friend of mine lost her brother October 30 to a car accident. He was a DC police officer with a family. Rest in peace Tyson, Dave, and Paul. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your loved ones.


Now, on a happier note, I would like to tell you about some HAPPY memories I have of Tyson and Dave. Some of you were there so I hope this brings back good memories :)

The first time I hung out with Tyson some friends and I went to his house. His dad was asleep so we quietly watched tv and talked. Then a Boystown National hotline commercial came on and we somehow (and stupidly) got the idea to prank call them. Tiffany pretended to be a suicidal teenager and when the operator realized she wasn't serious she called the cops on us. While it was a stupid thing to do, we formed strong friendships that night.

Another, and my most favorite memory, is when Tyson came over to meet my family. My family was getting ready for church when Tyson got there. My dad always liked to mess with my boyfriends so he yelled "Honey bring me a beer!" (Joking of course) and Tyson said "I like him already" then my dad yelled "...And my shot gun" and Tyson said "I don't like him anymore!" I laughed so hard :)

Tyson was always such a gentleman and such a sweet person. It really was a tragedy when he was taken from this Earth.


I have so many memories with Dave in them I don't know how to choose. Everytime I walked into GNC in the Pine Ridge Mall, he was there working. We hung out almost every weekend for a long time. We would always go do crazy things like go to Ross Park after dark and play hide and seek or go play on an elementary school playground at night. He wasn't afraid of anything.

Dave was also a gentleman and he was loved by everyone. Rumor has it that when he wrecked he was on his way home from proposing to his girlfriend. I can't imagine being proposed to and losing your fiance in the same day.

I don't remember ever meeting Paul, but I can't even imagine losing a sibling. Trying to be there for my friend and seeing what she is going through has really opened my eyes. I hope I don't ever have to go through that.

Davy, Josh, Chelsie, and Nicholya, Celeste, and Doug know that I love you and am so grateful to have you in my life. I am thankful for every day as your sister (or sister in law) and for every memory with you in them.


Let the ones you care about know you love them. You never know when they will be gone. And PLEASE be careful on the road and drink responsibly.

Thanks for reading, Allison

A lil bit of everything

This blog is going to be about a few different topics……
Here we go….On the anniversary of a terrible event; we remember exactly where we were that morning, what we were doing, and the thoughts that went through our heads. Some of us rushed to call loved ones while many of us stared horror struck at TVs. As a nation, it brought us closer together, brought out the patriotism in all of us. And it lasted for a while. Until we had a “bad” president. Until we elected a new “bad” president. When things go bad for our country we tend to let our patriotism slip, and that should never be the case. We should always be proud to be Americans. We should always remember those lost and those still fighting. Even when we are in a recession, and other aspects of our lives may be bad, never forget those lost or fighting…..

Next, I want to say something about religion. I don’t belong to any religion, and I don’t imagine I will anytime soon. I don’t have anything against those of you who do belong to a religion, especially because I think religion is good for society. Now with that said….I do have things that I do “religiously.” One of these things is football. I don’t know how many of you were following my fb page the night of the BSU/VA Tech game, but it got ugly. This asshole deleted me because the team I said would win, won. He was such a terrible sport that he couldn’t handle the loss, and a WOMAN being right about football. He did keep his promise to delete me, and now he can terrorize someone else’s page LOL. He can call them names and insult them and hate them based on who they root for. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for supporting your team, but don’t attack other people based on theirs. And get your facts straight if you are going to start an argument. That said, GO STEELERS! And BSU I am so proud of you!!!

Next, I would like to talk about pets being family members. My 2 dogs and cat are my babies. Since I can’t have kids, they are all I have. My heart breaks when they are sick or when they have nightmares. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I have laughed because of them. I am a much happier person with them in my life, and can’t imagine a life without them in it. Once, someone lost our dog, lied about how it happened, and then left before we found her. We still don’t let this person come to our house because of this. If she would apologize, for lying especially, we could try and fix things because this person is family. That day was terrible for us. I have never seen my husband more upset, than that day when he thought his baby was lost forever. Thank GOD we found her!!! On that note, Happy Birthday to Clark, my cat, he is 1.

Lastly, a friend of mine, who I have quoted before, wrote me an email expressing anger about parents who have kids and then don’t want to spend time with them. She is like me, in that she can’t have kids, but she has adopted three and she is a teacher. She thought I should blog about this, but I think her email says it all:

"Here's one for your blog...I want to post on FB but not brave enough. If I had a blog, this would be it.

There is a mom in my group, who I love, but she was asked about being class mom for her daughter's class. She has 3 kids, only one will be home next year as the others will be in all day school. She said NO because she needed "me" time. I posted that this is a great opportunity to do something special for your daughter blah blah blah, and was BLASTED as trying to guilt her into doing it.

So my point is this...WHY do people have kids when all they complain about once they have them is having to be WITH them? I would give my eye tooth to have a situation where my husband made enough money to stay home, and so would he! So why do these lazy [BITCHES] complain about all they have to do? Walk in my shoes...you would be thrilled to be able to spend every moment with your kid. They have no idea what it's like to not have ME time.

Now, I am off to be with my kids. "


She is right. Why have kids, then not want to spend time with them. It’s one thing to need some alone time once in a while, because EVERYONE needs alone time ONCE IN A WHILE, but don’t deny your children in doing so.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend, and thanks for letting me vent!